Saturday, September 06, 2008

antsy

My mom emailed me yesterday and said, "I can tell when you're up to your eyeballs, because you don't update your blog as much." Very funny and very true!

This past week was the last with my girls this summer ... and though the fears I have (remember them?) crop up now and then about the bus, the unknowns, the strangers, the bullies ... I'm getting better at letting them go, appreciating now, and trusting my kids in the hands of their two school systems, which are filled to overflowing with kind, loving, trustworthy teachers and staff members. The bittersweetness I have tugging at my heart this September is from looking back on the awesome summer we had. Sure, there were times I wish this house had a soundproof room with a bathtub, soft music, a comfy chair, knitting supplies, and a man in a kilt to fan me and feed me grapes ... but overall, this summer was great. The kids turned this fabulous corner and started needing me less and started playing together more. And we had a lot of cool adventures together, some of which needed no further traveling than our back yard.

I read a book called Your Six Year Old, to help me understand Charlotte a bit better (being mindful that the things mentioned in the book might be turned up to eleven in Charlotte's mind and body) and it was a good resource. She's passing through this phase of pulling away from me and yet still needing me -- which is both beautiful and tumultuous, especially given how connected to me she has always been ... this summer she developed a "look" that nearly killed me dead a handful of times. The book also gave some good suggestions on how to deal with the sudden flairs six year-olds can have and my favorite one EVER is diversion. She'll be sitting at the table hollering about how terrible her artwork is, that she's stupid and can't do anything, and she'll never be a great artists, and the tears will flow and the pencil will fly and I'll say, "Hey, Charlotte! Come look at this sweet chipmunk on the back yard" .... and peace is restored. She'll get up, her face will clear, she'll melt over the little fuzzy dude peering back at her with sparkling black eyes, and then go back to her artwork happily. Pure magic, people.

Iris started school yesterday and was just fine ... no tears and only a momentary worry about being away from home so long (four hours). But then her teacher asked Iris for help in hanging some sunflower heads out for the birds and she trotted off. Charlotte even allowed Iris to pick one of her very own stuffed animals to take to school as comfort on her first day. To see them hug each other before we left was the perfect punctuation for the past few months. Iris really loves school, and having something of her own away from her big sister. And she was one tuckered out dumpling when I picked her up.




I used to get antsy this time of year when I was a teenager and young adult. I would start to get itchy for new school books, the started of classes, stimulation, papers to write, artwork to create. And I wondered if it would follow me into adulthood ... would I always look for my backpack when September rolled around? Now, of course, my mind goes in that direction in regard to my kids, but for me there's a different excitement ...

this time of year in sled dog kennels all over the world, mushers are getting ready to train. They watch the weather religiously and pray for dropping temperatures. The mushers in the Lower 48 are particularly hopeful for the return of the cold and chill, because in order to keep up with mushers from more northern climes you need to begin training as soon as they do. When September comes I start thinking of cold weather, snow, and sled dog training ... I found myself sleepily checking out the Iditarod homepage at 11 pm (the race isn't until March, but new merchandise for the 2008 race is starting to arrive), drooling over mukluks, and watching videos of teams training up in Minnesota.

I think it must be rubbing off ... because this morning Charlotte made up a team of her own (two of those dogs are mine from childhood) and stood on the back rockers of my little rocking chair, using it as a sled (exactly like I used to) ....


Posted by Melissa at 9:38 AM

10 Comments

  • Blogger hopeful posted at 10:15 AM  
    Have I mentioned lately that I love reading your blog?!?


    *HUGS*

    ~j

  • Blogger Ces posted at 12:49 PM  
    Precious, the photo of Iris and the sled dogs. My children are older but I still get anxious. I don't know when I will ever stopped worrying about them, maybe never. My sister also calls me and asks if everything is okay when I don't update my blog for several days. Have a great weekend Melissa.

  • Blogger Melissa posted at 4:17 PM  
    Awww, thanks J! :) That means a lot! I'm just getting our new system updated with all my favorite bookmarks and I'm so glad you commented, because now I can get your blog back on the bookmarks where it belongs. :) Hope you and CG are having a nice end-of-summer!

    Ces -- I had no idea when I decided to have children that I would feel this way about them. I knew I would love them and worry about them, but the Momma Bear gene and the feare are amazing. I would stop a train with my bare hands for them! I hope work isn't too nuts and that you're keeping safe and dry. We're having some Hanna rain here ... by "some" I mean *buckets*!

  • Blogger laughingwolf posted at 11:47 AM  
    yup... kids growing up sure elicits pangs...

    love the mush mutts :O lol

  • Blogger Ces posted at 4:21 PM  
    Yes, I have been watching the rain in the East Coast. I hope there is no flooding in your area. Keep safe.

  • Blogger Miladysa posted at 10:56 PM  
    Awwr Bless!

    I don't know what I would do without diversion either - it's a little life saver!

    What a lovely photograph of Iris :-D

    Charlotte reminds me so much of E. I can't remember having more than a days worry regarding school and my older children. With E though it's different, if she had a choice she would stay at home. We can't fight their battles for them but there are times I wish we could! :-D

    I think it is brilliant you still have some of your childhood toys. I still pine for some of mine *sigh*

  • Blogger Melissa posted at 11:03 AM  
    LW -- I was okay yesterday, until bedtime when Charlotte was really sad ... I held it together and she went off with a smile this morning ... now the wait until she's home! Iris gets home at 2 and has already asked for her sister twice. :)

    Ces -- Glad to hear you're okay! We dried out quickly and even got to attend the tail end of the Scottish Irish Festival -- KILTS!! I thought of you. ;)

    Milady -- You were with me in spirit yesterday when we went to the Scottish Irish festival -- kilts were everywhere and the music was fabulous. The day was beautiful, too -- after a horrendous rain storm on Sat. (hurricane leftovers). There's something about these tenderhearted children that makes it so hard to let them walk away ... Charlotte said she wanted to move to Alaska so I would be forced to home school her! :D When does E start?

  • Blogger Baino posted at 2:18 PM  
    I don't think the pangs ever leave frankly, they change as you trust them to make their way in the world.
    Adam is sick today . .I mean gastro vomity sick and even though I can do little but give him a slice of dry toast, he appreciates having his mum to pander to him! Pathetic, I know!

  • Blogger Melissa posted at 2:45 PM  
    Aw, Baino, that's sweet! :) I hope I can do the same when my kids are older. I always feel like an especially good mom when the kids are sick and I'm taking care of them. There was a big mix up with the bus ... she didn't get home until almost 5 and the fear of my kids getting on the wrong bus came true for me. I knew we'd reconnect eventually, my worry was for Charlotte who I thought would be scared when they drove away from our road and didn't come to our driveway. Thank God, she had no idea and was completely calm when she got off the bus (I was in tears). :D All is being ironed out now ...

  • Blogger Miladysa posted at 3:45 PM  
    I LOVE that I was with you in spirit :-D

    Sir H and I watched a programme about the Northern Lights in Norway yesterday. A man 'owned' a reindeer herd and he was riding around on one of those snow scooter thingymebobs. I said to Sir H - "Melissa would have taken a team out..." *grin*

    You can watch a snippet showing the lights here:
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sPvr9d8UDxs
    Well worth a visit!

    E returned to school last Wednesday. I would suggest that we all move to Alaska but I don't like the cold that much.

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